My mother was devastated when a doctor informed her she couldn’t have children but through the pain she gave it to the Lord and conceived a child. Psalm 139:13-16 As the pregnancy progressed they advised my parents to have an abortion because of possible deformities but despite the advice they chose to give life. Then one month before term her appendix ruptured and was taken in for an emergency C-section with the uncertainty if we would survive. By the grace of God we did and was born a month early with no deformities.
I was raised an only child by both parents in the home. My mother was a professing Catholic and did some of the traditions and didn’t go to church. I was baptized as an infant and was told the importance of having faith in God. At the same time she didn’t want to force religion, understanding that was a decision I should make in my own life.
As I grew my understanding of God was that of a genie in a lamp. I called on Him when I only needed Him. My prayer life was void of thanksgiving and I didn’t read the Bible. My understanding of God was what I made Him to be in my mind. He was for what I was for and against what I was against. I was a good person, I didn’t drink or do drugs, didn’t kill anyone, told little white lies rarely swore and only stole what most would think was insignificant. I was a better person than most people. I was better than some that I knew who went to church. I had a good job that I earned and had decent health. Then my life took a drastic change and God showed me who was really in control.
I lost my position at work to workforce reductions, due to seniority was moved to another department. In the new area I met a few guys that encouraged me to read the Bible. So I took their advice and read it cover to cover. God was working on my heart and I was driven to share what was happening with my girlfriend and during this time we were in a long distance relationship. A couple of months later we were married and she moved to the Bay Area. We decided to buy a house trusting that the Lord would provide knowing I was going to be laid off a few months later.
While I was unemployed I received training for medical assisting. We were learning how to check blood sugar by checking our own mine was extremely high where the teachers told me to go to the doctor ASAP. I saw my doctor and my kidneys were failing. I was starting to lose my eyesight as well.
During this time the “Passion of the Christ” was in theaters. After we saw it, it really impacted my wife. She began to ask her friend at her work questions. She answered as best as she could and eventually invited us to a Bible Study about the movie. We attended and at one of the sessions the pastor asked if we were saved. We both were puzzled, looking at each other not knowing what he meant. He started to share what it meant and as we continued going to church it became clear, understanding the Gospel and turned our lives to Christ for salvation. We both decided to be baptized with the full knowledge and proclaiming the Good News.
God has revealed his truth to me through prayer and reading His Word, and through that I am building a relationship with Him, knowing who He is, rather then making a God in my own image. And now as I work through trials in my life I know He is there because His word says He is and that He works all things for good to those that love Him. I still worry and know that trials will continue but I also know that he will provide His grace and presence knowing that I am not alone.
Music has always been a passion of mine and I have been doing it for most of my life. As I look back I was writing about things that I worshiped relationships, money, all the worldly things and even myself. It was also a way to cope with things in life to express myself in ways I thought I couldn’t without it. As I grew in the faith I decided I didn’t want to rap about those things anymore. I even threw away well over a 100 songs because that was the old self. I am a new creation because of what the Lord has done, by laying down His life to pay the penalty of my sins. So now I will raise my voice to the one that deserves to be worshiped and will let the whole world know by sharing the Gospel through music.